I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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