So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
