we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
do herpes really smell.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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