even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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