she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
jump out the window naked night went bad
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