what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
