cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
