Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
