Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
