don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
