Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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