I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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