I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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