That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
