You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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