Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
