he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
