Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
