It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
