god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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