I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
