oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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