So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
