She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
