just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
