Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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