can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to sanitize my soul.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
