My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Come share oat with me in your robe
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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