I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
