My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
