It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
