so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
