naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
