Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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