quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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