Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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