sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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