I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
