She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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