y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
