I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
