I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i believe in u and ur pee
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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