Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
