Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
