i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
