Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
