he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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