you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
