this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
