I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm bleeding and have questions
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
