Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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