I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
